I hate all girls vehemently.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.