didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.