I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...