Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
