Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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