god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
