so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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