Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

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(352): View more from Florida

i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.

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(631): View more from New York

OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET

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(480): View more from Arizona

I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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(334): View more from Alabama

He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.

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(818): View more from California

I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving

(1-818): View more from California

At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.

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(917): View more from New York City

The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.

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