It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter