textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.