You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence