Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face

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(678): View more from Georgia

I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.

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(301): View more from Maryland

chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

(317): View more from Indiana

all hypothetical of course

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(281): View more from Texas

i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.

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(210): View more from Texas

no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.

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(518): View more from New York

Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.

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