Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
