U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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