ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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