For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
