weddingsv make me drug and hornr
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
