walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You smell like stripper and shame
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
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He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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