This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
