well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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