Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
