I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize