if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
