Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
