he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
