So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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