Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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