Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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