I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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