What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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