OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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