Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Someone stole a lamp last night.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
