Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
