she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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