I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
