okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
