my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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