all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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