no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
