3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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