why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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