Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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