who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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