You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
