So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
