# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
