i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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