The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize