Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
