dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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