chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
