i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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