Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize