Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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