Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize