Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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