i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
