If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
