I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
