bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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