You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
