Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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