i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We smell like vodka and hangover
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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