Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
