U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize