you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING