i already hear my dad disowning me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
