Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
