Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
