before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
